Today is Yom Kippur, one of the few Jewish holidays I observe to some degree, by fasting to atone for my sins. This is a good year for it, regrettably.
In the words of my good friend Richard, life is a sine wave, and the past couple of weeks have certainly been a rickety ride across its peaks and troughs. I’m happy to say that things have in the aggregate been quite positive and I’ve been far luckier than I’ve deserved, but there’s been a lot of sadness and hurt I’ve been responsible for, and some tough stuff I’ve had to come to terms with. Things are broken that I simply cannot fix, and it gnaws at me that I’m capable of causing such damage and be utterly helpless to make amends for it. I will continue to be there for them and hope for the opportunity to someday offer them some peace of mind, but I’ve no reason to expect they will ever be receptive to it.
If that wasn’t cryptic enough, there’s still a huge ream of stuff coming down the pipe I simply can’t talk about yet. It’s one of the reasons I don’t post to this blog very often lately… I’ve been thinking that it will be resolved any day now for over two months, and I can end with the secrecy. Frustration!
Cannibal opens on Friday, and we only have two or three rehearsals between then and now. I don’t know how ready I feel. I think the show will be okay for what it is… I’m actually mostly concerned about my recorder music, some of which I only received yesterday and I don’t know if I’ll have time to learn it well enough for the show. I’m still excited by the prospect of playing a recorder on stage for the first time since I was in elementary school, though.
My sleep has been mired by a cold I had last week… it was mercifully brief but has still left me more ragged than normal. I’ve started irrigating my nasal passages with a neti pot, which is something I’ve been meaning to try for years, as I know nasal irrigation has worked wonders for my dad. I think I’m starting to get some positive effects from it, but it’s tough to tell. Mostly I just constantly feel like I’ve come home from swimming.
Dan.